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Thursday, August 13, 2009

behind the numbers preseason: keeper edition

Episode 3.01 of behind the numbers features my take on VY, Coach P, and Michael Crabtree as well as a roundtable discussion with a panel of "experts."

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  1. LBHMAugust 13, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    some thoughts:
    1. hello, i freakin need a championship the most. i mean yes, brent has been consistently in the bottom of the league, but that is just b/c brent has consistently sucked harder than kris's mom at a swingers club and that seems to be his destiny. poor guy is just snakebit. for him to win a championship would be like the cardinals winning a championship. there's a lot of history to overcome, plus a culture of losing that has been established over the years. kris definitely does not deserve one. he is still trying to come back from the bad karma gained by drafting while playing golf(!). and of course no team that always drafts rex grossman, and DOESN'T DROP HIM deserves a title. jimmy and brandon have had their moments in the sun and the rest of the league has caught up with them. they are like the cowboys and niners. they have their storied history, but it is time for new dynasties to rise. there is a strong argument for jeff smith, and eventually he is going to win one...just hopefully not this year. (note to jeff, notice i said nothing bad about you. please don't have any secret gov't agency nuke my house or disappear me in the middle of the night). aj, yeah right. billy didn't deserve the one he won, and umphlett just got his. i'm not sure if anyone can take vz lucking into another title and having to listen to him talk about it for the next five freakin years. though seeing jimmy's head explode might be mildly amusing. i rest my case, i deserve a title.

    2. some predictions:
    - chris johnson WILL NOT get 10 tds. yeah, the guy is a stud, but lendale white will continue to be a vulture.
    - michael turner's productivity WILL fall off, but he will still be worlds better than the sixth round pick where i will have to take him.
    - ADP WILL NEVER play all 16 games in the season. easiest.call.ever
    - kurt warner WILL NOT be a top 10 qb this year. much as i love the guy, dude is ancient
    - MJD needs an offensive line about as bad as a crack whore needs her next fix, but sadly still has the ability to put up first round caliber numbers
    - brady and moss will return to the top of their game
    - randy moss will lead all receivers in TDS
    - Fitz will lead all receivers in yardage
    - brady quinn will be the browns starter by week 5
    - and for our league, the eventual champion will be one who has yet to win a championship.
    - the two newest members of the league will continue to struggle
    - jimmy and brandon will BOTH make the playoffs
    - aj will forget to bench a player on a bye at least once and cost his team a win
    - btw vz's complaining and aj's inattention, jimmy's head will eventually explode.

    as always, i can't wait for the start of the season.

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